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.....terus menjadi berarti sebelum mati.....

Mr.Octea

Photobucket

Manusia biasa yang tak luput dari kekhilafan

Menjadi terus berarti adalah nyawa, Meski tetep sadar akan segala kekurangan dan kelemahannya

POSTINGAN

Thursday, May 18, 2006

seterusnya menjadi munafik............?

...............................
................................
gw takut akan kerapuhan ini
bener-bener kekosongan ini telah ngebuat gw mati
setiap hembusan nafas yang gak berarti adalah mati
begitu mudahnya gw ini menjadi sia-sia
menjadi munafik yang paling munafik kalau gw rasa
gw rasa bodoh dan dosa terhadap A kemaren
gw mencandu A hari ini
gw kutuk diri ini dengan penuh sesal karena A hari ini
gw kembali mencandu A besok
seterusnya..
seterusnya....
seterusnya menjadi munafik....??????
semakin menjadi gak bernilai...???
............................
...........................
menjadi biasa saja susah
menjadi normal saja gak bisa
yang biasa itu yang seperti apa?
yang normal-normal itu yang kayak gimana??
.........................
..........................
kemaren gw takut menjadi bodoh
takut yang tak dibalas dengan sebuah komitmen
jadinya....sebuah keamburadulan.........
hari ini kebodohan gw semakin perkasa
naluri manusiawi gw semakin menjadi saja
naluri manusiawi gw semakin menjadi raja
naluri kebinatangan yang biadab
naluri yang penuh dengan keingkaran
..........................
........................
hanya sebuah tanya yang terbayang
tanya akan sebuah penetapan hati
keyakinan akan sebuah kehidupan masih terbesit
hati dengan ruh ilahi gw tak kan pernah lari
hanya karena naluri yang benar-benar tak punya arti



kehampaan diri......................

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